Friday, October 28, 2011

october's ramble

it's end of october already

i'm so this and that
i am excited yet much more scared
i am happy this housemanship will be (insya Allah)- over yet i know i will miss it
i am glad this will be over yet i don't know what lay ahead

what is that?
i'm so afraid to face new things hahaha
let it be
let it be and see how it goes
i pray hardly for good things

for now,
i'm newly a fully registered medical practicioner.
i'm not anymore in a probationary period for driving -yeay! i got my BIG driving license already

and my social relationship is wrecking -again. huhu
befriending is as tough as i thought.
people just expects more.
at the beginning of it, i swear i heard him said let just be friend.
i made it clear from the beginning that I AM SINGLE BUT NOT AVAILABLE
and he said fine let just be friend
am i to damned straight like the sudip? to say yes?
nx time those sentence will be the hardest to believe
because by time, they'll expect more and more
i'm over it

yesterday he called and i answered. we talked for a while, and i was disspointed about the hopes and expectations and wants which i think it wasn't appropriate. what more that that is that i've trusted him for his- let just be friend- thing and now he forget it wholly.that was as evidence of he got dissappointed and hung up the phone.
i didn't call back
i'm over it
i'm over it. i'm over other people 's wants.
i'm a selfish lady with my own wants to fulfill. pull stop.

and the still maybe's
staying' or moving? oooh i'm so restless. i've just walked in my PT's office and she said DONNO YET. patience please! i cannot geared down this adrenaline rush- it keeps going. gimme some alprazolam maybe that will help chasing this restlessness away for some time hahaha

thanks Allah, i'm on duty TONIGHT.
just let me dwell in my works and work and work- that won't hurt.

Monday, October 3, 2011

it's all about trees

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
~Nelson Henderson~